Getting the most out of your family session, even if it is the witching hour and you don't think your kids will cooperate:
I get it, mama. I know you worry and are probably thinking, "my kids are SO cranky at sunset and they'll be feral, hangry little heathens at that time, how will we even get one decent photo?!"
I'm here as a recovering perfectionist, a mama of 3, and photographer who has been documenting families for 15 years, providing you with my wisdom. I promise you that the more you, as the nucleus of your family, can breathe deep and relax into the mindset of "it is what it is" and give me your fullest trust, the better your session will go. Read on to ease your mind.
truth bomb: YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH KIDS WHO ARE WILD AND SILLY AND WON'T SIT STILL.
At least 9/10 of my family sessions have kiddos that don't want to stand and smile at the camera. It's normal and guess what? That is not my goal anyway. I believe the raw and authentic expression of your family is what makes your connection special, which is why I have an in-depth questionnaire that reminds you and gets you more into the emotion of what makes your family special to you. However, here is how I suggest preparing for your shoot to manage getting at least one great scenic, picturesque Christmas card shot with squirrelly kids, while the majority of the session is reserved for intimate connection, authenticity and play.
TIP 1: Choose comfortable clothing
- Any amount of time and energy spent tugging at tight or itchy clothes will take away from everyone's ability to enjoy the moment. Wear things that flow and lay smoothly on the body without needing to fidget.
TIP 2: hype the session up with your kids + prepare them for what's to come.
- For my new clients, it can be unsettling for kids to have someone new with a big black box up in their faces. Prepare your kids before even getting ready for the day, talking positively about the photoshoot in the weeks leading up to the session, saying things like "we're going on an adventure with our new friend, Miss Sarah" or "we get to dress up, go explore a new location, play games and be silly."
- Feel free to stalk both my professional and personal Instagram and share with them photos of me and details they'll relate to so I'm not a complete stranger when we meet.
TIP 3: Time your day but also let go of expectations
- Kids can feel the tension, pressure and when they're being expected to perform and will often act out in the opposite of the desired result. Let them be themselves and let go of perfection. The more we stress perfection out of the day, the more things tend to just "go wrong". Lower your expectations, but know you will still get BEAUTIFUL photographs because you softened into the experience.
- Do your best to time FOOD. You know it, your kids will likely get hangry. Family sessions are scheduled for that dreamy golden hour light, which of course in the fall means right around dinner time. Prep your kids favorite meal as an early dinner or do an easy meal in the crockpot that will be ready before you have to put on your outfits then take them out for treats after the session (not as a reward for being good, but to further solidify that family picture day is a fun day from start to finish). Or an easier option, plan to grab fast food afterwards and stuff those hangry monster mouths. Either way, snacks during the session are a MUST. Choose "mess-free" options (as if there's truly a 100% clean snack) that won't drip down their faces or cake to their teeth. Have wipes handy, but also don't stress. Mess comes with the responsibility of being a kid. It's a tough job, you know. ;)
Tip 4: When it does come time for the classic family portrait, leave it to me:
- I do silly things behind the camera and play tricks on the older kiddos to keep them engaged when I do want them looking for a photo. Leave it to me to direct them and get them interested in what's happening near the camera. If mom and dad start barking orders, the result is usually eye rolls and frowns. Your only job as mom and dad for these shots is to just look at the camera and smile and trust that I've got you.
how i ease everyone into the session:
- I give us all about a 10 minute buffer from the time you arrive at the location to the time we really start shooting. This helps with the transition from the car ride to getting their wiggles out. We'll walk to our starting point as I chat with mom and dad and I introduce myself to the kids. I'll strike up conversations with the littles about things they like (I'll gather some of this info in your family questionnaire).
- I encourage connection, interaction and movement. We play, we get curious and we let them be little.
I hate to break it to you, sometimes it just happens... your kids may not cooperate and that's okay!
For whatever reason, if your child has just shown zero interest or is even tearful over the experience and having their worst day, PLEASE remain patient with the process. Remember to love them, hold them, remind them they're safe to feel this way. And I'll be a fly on the wall for these moments to capture them.
You'll even come to love and appreciate the meltdowns and sour expressions because they become timeless keepsakes when the moments are documented with intention. I believe in preserving all memories (not just the joyful ones) for your family, as one day when your children are grown, all that we have are memories, and even as memories fade in and out with age, you'll have these heirloom photos forever.
